Carrie Fisher Would Like You To Shut Up About How She Looks In The New Star Wars

I haven’t seen Star Wars: The Force Awakens because I’m too busy working my way through my annual Catwalk marathon. But apparently one of the things fans are getting their banthas in a twist about is that (SPOILER ALERT!!!) Princess Leia no longer looks like the Princess Leia from 32 years ago. Maybe Princess Leia’s face looks different because Luke keeps using the last of her La Mer and replacing it with some cheap shit from the Galactic Empire’s version of CVS. Or maybe it’s because Carrie Fisher is 59-years-old and we should all lay the fuck off. If you ask Carrie Fisher, she’ll probably tell you it’s the second one.

Life legend and mother of legend-in-the-making Gary Fisher hopped on Twitter yesterday to swat at all the future Hell-dwellers (I’m pretty sure shitting on Carrie Fisher guarantees you a one-way ticket) who kept running their mouths about how old she looks and how she hasn’t aged well. RUDE! Really though, what were they expecting? A 30-years-old Princess Leia to show up with her face pulled tighter than BB-8’s ball?

Please stop debating about whetherOR notaged well.unfortunately it hurts all3 of my feelings.My BODY hasnt aged as well as I have.Blow us

— Carrie Fisher (@carrieffisher) December 29, 2015

My body is my brain bag, it hauls me around to those places & in front of faces where theres something to say or see pic.twitter.com/T2TXiEyl17

— Carrie Fisher (@carrieffisher) December 29, 2015

Youth&BeautyR/NOT ACCOMPLISHMENTS,theyre theTEMPORARY happy/BiProducts/of Time&/or DNA/Dont Hold yourBreath4either/ifUmust holdAir/takeGarys

— Carrie Fisher (@carrieffisher) December 30, 2015

I’m not sure what “air” Carrie is talking about, but I’m going to assume she means Gary’s farts. With that being said, “Hold my dog’s farts” is totally my new “Go fuck yourself.”

Carrie recently admitted that she was pressured to replace her meals with water-flavored air in order to slim down before shooting Star Wars: The Force Awakens, so really, it sounds like no one wanted Carrie Fisher to look like Carrie Fisher. Apparently no one got the memo that not everyone in the Star Wars universe ages backwards like forever-sexy goddess Sy Snootles (although if we’re being honest, she totally had her lips done).

Pic: Splash