It only took her 4 decades, but Carrie Fisher confirmed what many of us figured a while ago: she and Harrison Ford regularly got their fuck on with each other while shooting the first Star Wars movie in London. Save your shocked look for when Chewbacca writes in his memoirs about how he was tag-teamed by Darth Vader, Biggs Darklighter and C-3PO.
Carrie has a book coming out, The Princess Diarist, and to sell it, she gave People an ESCANDALASO excerpt where she spills the Rebel Alliance jizz about how she and Harrison Ford boned for 3 months in 1976 while he was married with two kids. Carrie was 19 at the time and Harrison was 33. Carrie writes that their 3-month-long affair started after George Lucas’ birthday party.
Harrison got a draft of Carrie’s book and didn’t have anything to say when People asked for a comment.
Radar claims that they got even more excerpts from Carrie’s book. After George Lucas’ birthday party, Harrison drove a wine-drunk Carrie home and that’s when he went where only a few men have gone before. Carrie says she was kind of a newbie in the fuck department at that time and didn’t really know how to kiss. The sex was apparently as boring as the Star Wars movies with Natalie Portman in them, but Carrie didn’t care because Harrison was so hot. Carrie doesn’t remember much about those 3 months, because ”the brutal strength of Harrison’s preferred strain of pot” (and probably the brutal strength of all the coke she did) ate her memory.
If all of this sounds like some Brangelina-type shit, it apparently was, only Harrison didn’t drop his wife for Carrie and they didn’t go on to raise 4,300 kids together. But Carrie did give them a cringeworthy couple name.
Her book contains excerpts from a diary she kept of the affair, in which she said she tried ”relentlessly” to make him love her and fantasized that he would ask he to marry him and give her a “gold band with diamonds (inscribed) ‘Carrison.”’
BUT WAIT! Carrie shit on Radar’s leaked excerpts. Carrie tweeted that she didn’t write about how Harrison’s 70s dick game got an F from her vagine.
I would never talk about how someone was in any furniture–chair, bed, coffee table or otherwise
— Carrie Fisher (@carrieffisher) November 15, 2016
Meanwhile, as everyone was bumping genitals on the Star Wars set, Luke Skywalker was probably reading a book and sipping chamomile tea alone. Poor Luke never gets any.
And if that embarrassing part about the gold band with “Carrison” on it is true, then I’m going to give 19-year-old Carrie a pass and blame it on the dangerous combination of coke, weed and Harrison Ford’s wandering peen.
Pic: 20th Century Fox